So, I believe I had been overthinking this. We tried yesterday and we both could connect to the server (VG btw) in 2D AND in 3D. Could not fly as wifey called, but it looked like everything worked fine.
Ah, yep, only my main “gaming desktop” was referenced on the router for port forwarding, not my son’s laptop. And we did not check IVC…
In any case, I’d put this topic as resolved.